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Why are infantilizing terms and terms suggesting stupidity even allowed?

Discussion in 'Meta-forum Discussion' started by Ne0mega, Mar 13, 2020.

  1. Ne0mega

    Ne0mega

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2018
    Posts:
    745
    Why are people even allowed to use terms like "cry, whine, throw a fit, acting like a baby, stupid, deranged, fool, idiotic", etc etc on these forums?

    Why even allow personal attacks, or allow sideways attacks, ie "anybody that thinks like you do is a stupid, crying whining man-child", where it is quite obvious the poster is insulting the person they are replying too?

    I see this in almost all forums, with half-ass rules about "attack the argument, not the poster" and "don't make it personal", yet people attack the posters and make it personal all the time. ALL THE TIME. It constantly just causes flame wars. The expert trolls slowly ratchet up the heat, throwing in sly insult after sly insult, until it gets out of hand and threads are closed.

    This place is so annoying because there are so many people that live here looking to call other people stupid etc.

    There is really no need for it. And I don't think it should be allowed.
    I think all these terms should be reportable, and if the person the word was directed at feels that it was not meant in good faith ie != , "you are doing that a really stupid way, here is a better way to do it", but == "people like you are always throwing big baby fits because..." just give a warning, and then a 24 hour ban, and then community ban.

    It's like you can't cuss, you can't make it personal, but you can say that people that think a way you disagree with are stupid, or fools, or sleazy, which is just a sleazy way of skirting the "don't make it personal" rule, but still try to get your digs in and get a good flame war going.

    There should be a huge list of words that just aren't allowed here anymore.
    this is not supposed to be a free speech debate forum. It's supposed to be a place for reference and learning and providing Unity with feedback.

    I just don't understand why these forums have any tolerance at all for people flaming one bit. It's on Unity's servers. It should have zero tolerance for flaming and trolling of any kind.

    This thread is going to end very unwell, of course, because there is absolutely no control here, and just a veneer of wanting good discussion.


    I'm gonna get called being PC. I am not PC, but I do believe in some settings you simply don't say things. I may have called someone here dumb or stupid, but I have never called a coworker dumb or stupid in my life.

    There is just no need for a whole bunch of words and phrases here:

    Stupid, throwing a fit, whinging on, whining, crying, blubbering, blathering, Obviously you never..., you're the type who....., so what you are saying is..., man-child, baby, deranged, fool, idiotic, clown, sophomoric, puerile, basically anything that attempts to assume about a persons experience, proclaim them to be immature, or proclaim them to be stupid or annoying..., put words in their mouth/build strawmen, suggest their intentions are malevolent, add rhetorical questions at the end, or anything really obviously meant to say they are not welcome to speak their mind, should just not be allowed.

    Some people must start every counter point they make with some kind of insulting introduction, insinuating the person they disagree with is a child or stupid, and end it with some kind of gotcha rhetorical question at the end, instead of just plainly stating their position without all the flame bait.

    I don't understand why more forums set up for shop talk simply only allow talking shop. No matter where you go, its infested with annoying trolls.

    And no, I'm not calling anybody out, and yeah, I know many will be incredulous because "OOMG NeOmega of all people is whining about trolling....."

    Just really annoyed with the internet. There never seems to be anywhere where you can get away from people constantly trying to annoy you and insult you, and just talk shop.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2020
    transat likes this.
  2. Ne0mega

    Ne0mega

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2018
    Posts:
    745
    I tried to imagine the retorts and answers to my question, and I think the biggest problem to creating a truly civil space is determining what is, and what is not civil.

    I then believe I came up with a litmus test question that somebody should ask themselves before posting a counter point:
    "would I say this to my boss"?

    Imagine you are trying to convince your boss they are wrong. How would you word your phrases?
    I think that makes it pretty clear to delineate what is professional and what is simply looking to get a rise out of somebody, and I think it would give a mod a pretty easy way to determine what was a flame, and what was a genuine expression of counter point.

    I think mods would read posts reported to them as trying to start flame wars, ask themselves it they would say something like that to their boss, and if the answer is no,delete post, give warning.

    I also think, within two months, there would be no more flaming. Noobs would be told calmly and rationally why they would not be able to make an MMO. Dogs would join paws with cats and dance in circles around budding spring flowers, and people would get things done instead of getting hooked up in hate-fests.
     
    transat likes this.
  3. AnsisMalins

    AnsisMalins

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2014
    Posts:
    29
    Computers are frustrating, and the more you know what they're capable of, the more frustrated you become at when they fail to live up to their potential. Consequently, programmers are angry almost all of the time. Please forgive us. We're trying very hard to pretend the room is not on fire.
     
  4. transat

    transat

    Joined:
    May 5, 2018
    Posts:
    779
    @Ne0mega The games industry has a huge problem with toxic behaviour. It also has a huge problem with sexism and representation of women in general. One very small step Unity could take towards correcting this would be letting go of all the male moderators of this forum and replacing them with women.

    I write this as someone who was called an "ignorant fool" and a "sexist fool" on this forum yesterday for simply saying that women who report sexual harassment should be believed (a general statement not directed at any user). Though I reported the insults, the posts stayed up for a long time. Meanwhile, I received a private message from a moderator warning me about my apparently "inappropriate behavior" and advising me that my rights on this forum may now be restricted. There is a cabal of 3-4 users on this forum who have close to 60,000 posts between them and who are responsible for the bulk of the toxicity. If I can hazard a guess... it would be that none of them have received any such warning or restriction from the virtually all-male moderators. @AskCarol
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2020