Not Giving Up

Another year has gone down the tubes. The world hasn't ended. The global economy hasn't collapsed. Business is as usual. Which means a lot of different things. And it means a lot of people have quit.

I noticed that everything I like is always sold to big corporations who then whore it out for maximum profit. It's like people make something great, get money, then realize something and then give up and sell out.

Why does it seem that eventually, everyone gives up?

Everyone quits. Everything ends. It's just a matter of when.

Doesn't that make it all seem quite bleak? When you're striving, improving, chasing after inspiration and scheming how to make the best work you can... you're trying to hit your highest note, as early as you can in life, burning the candle from both ends just to prove something about yourself... to the world? To yourself?

And the only thing sadder than seeing a hero retire is seeing a hero who never lets go of that one moment when they held the world in the palm of their hand.

What are we here for?
What does it all mean?

Knowing all of this, as I think everyone does instinctively, why do we continue? Why bother? Why race towards the top of the hill, knowing that there's nothing after that than a slow decline to the bottom?

I have heard a lot of people say "I refuse to give up" or "I never give up", but isn't that just youthful ambition talking?

We all give up eventually.

 

Nu-huh! not me!!

 

I think it's simply a monetary gain.

A lot of people would rather sell their stuff (whether it be games,music,tv,etc) for 500 million than wait 20 years to get the 500 million and be worth 20 billion.

That way they can move on to the next project and hire a team.

 

Never give up! Never Surrender!

 

It's almost as if to say the future isn't really something people are much concerned with. Give me some good times, now. The future is someone else's problem. The future is uncertain. To hell with it. Pay me now and I'll retire to my sweet pad with illicit substances and waste away in style.

It's pretty nihilistic.

 

This is a world of balance. Extremes are usually the wrong answer. If you live only for today, you risk not securing a good future. But if you live for tomorrow your entire life, you risk sacrificing your present. There are no universal answers, just what suits better for you, and that is your quest.

 

Even though I gave up on a lot of stuff, I haven't gave up at creating games and I will never ever give on on creating video games. (I got a Unity 4 book for Christmas, so soon, I'll work on my first game soon, even though I use Unity 5.3)

 

God, I do love the optimism of youth though.

 

Yeah buddy! But your not at the top are you. You cant quit until you "win" or your dead.

As cliche as it is its "not the destination that matters its the journey" like that guy who tried climbing a mountain and lost almost his fingers, now he could have easily taken a helicopter to the top but that wasnt the point.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-34368256

I bet notch is bored out of his gourd because he got to the top too easily.

http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2015-07/notch-net-worth-isolation-twitter-outburst

 

I think quitting is the most stressful thing I could do. I like to take off the blinders for "a short time" so I can start again, rejuvenated. Sometimes though there is no clear line between the blinders and the blinded, and that's when you need family and friends to help you find the seam.

 

It all depends on why you "race to the top of the hill" and what you hope to find at the top.

When you are young, the race is to be successful, respected, loved...and lots of other things.

Then one day, you think...I have lived more than half my life and what do I have to show? Well...if you don't have money and success you feel like a failure.

But...

What are your goals? Did you touch someone else's life? A child, a friend, an elderly parent? Did you teach a young game developer learn something new? Did you make a friend online that lives on the other side of the world who taught you about his/her culture? Do you have a pet you love?

Are you happy or do you know what makes you happy? Maybe that is all there is at the top of the hill, happiness, contentment, serenity, acceptance, and maybe that is all you need.

I know when I examine my life I can find so many ways in which I have been a success. No, I am not rich or famous. I drive a mini-van. I still feel awkward around really successful people. But it is all about how you measure success.

For me..I look at my friends, my family, all the great people I have met here..and I feel like a success. Seems corny, but seriously, for me that is enough. And you know what? I don't have to slide down the other side. I can camp out on the top of my success.

 

I guess everyone gets their own story.

As a kid, it's plain to see.

But as you age and parts of your personality solidify, and future events you are hopeful about become part of history, you see yourself in others. You become your father, your uncle. You become that guy. That thing you wanted to be the world champion at, turns out you're above average at best.

And you become disappointed, disenchanted. You lose hope/faith/courage/trust. You stop believing in your dreams. After all, they are just fantasies and fantasies rarely become reality.

But maybe there's a part in there I always miss. Just because people before me wound up miserable, old bastards doesn't mean I have to do the same.

It sounds corny to say, especially for me... Mr. Gloom and Doom... but the future hasn't happened yet. It is still possible to change it. Nothing is set. The choices I make and the actions that result from those choices will determine the outcome of my life.

Regardless of all predictions and the poor example left by those who went before. Even if gods among men gave in to temptation and proved to be weak of heart, that doesn't mean I am them.

All my life, all of the people who have ever held authority in my life have gone out of their way to instill within me that not only am I not special, but that I am no different than anyone else. When people have believed in me, I have let them down. Because I have never believed in myself or much at all. And what I did believe in, life managed to strip away over time.

My story is basically over. I failed at my dreams. I'm too old. I didn't receive the proper education. I was born into the absolute dead wrong social strata, and will likely be on the business end of xenophobia and prejudice for the rest of my life. I have personality tendencies that add up to PTSD and borderline personality disorder. I mean, it's a done deal.

The curious thing is that I find myself still here. The credits refuse to roll. The curtains won't close, no matter how much I wish they would. I know I am not alone in that I often stare, motionless, thinking about what I am supposed to do next.

I don't know.

I will give up eventually, yes. I have already lost the war, that is clear. Maybe all I can do is refuse to give up without raising some hell, first. Until it no longer makes sense. Maybe even after that.

What is life but an exercise in futility, anyway?

I don't want a reason, then. Fine, universe, don't tell me the meaning of life. I'll just do it my damn way. Thanks for nothing.

 

Maybe you just expect too much. Life isn't something that happens to you, it is something that you make happen. And if you have only potatoes and no caviar, then just make the best darn potatoes you can make...and share with someone else.

 

Maybe everyone just settles for too little.

 

Ha! I don't think so. But that is rich from someone who feels he hasn't done anything with his life.

"Settling" is very subjective. If you are happy, and you have what you want, then it is not settling.

If you are always struggling for things you can't get but think you need, then you will never be happy and will forever life with regrets.

Some people just really require a lot more to be happy I guess. I am sorry about the people in your life always telling you that you are not special. You are special and your posts here, while sometimes a bit strange, have always been interesting. You do have a unique way of looking at this. That is all I know..but I know that you have value.

So....get up and go out and do something that makes you happy. Or make someone else happy...I saw that in the movie theatre ads yesterday. Makes sense!

Happy New Year, btw. Holidays are rough on people like you and I am sorry about that. But remember, 2016 is just a number.

I asked my kids what their new years resolutions were..and my 15 year old looked oddly at me and said...I am going to do my homework. I reminded her that she already did that and she just shrugged. She could not think of anything she needed to do better because at this moment, she is doing fine. Kind of ironic that I saw your post soon after.

 

I have done plenty. More than most, actually.

Just haven't achieved *all of* my dreams. I have achieved plenty of other people's dreams, though.

There's nothing wrong with settling. I would rather die than settle, but that's just me. It has also brought a lot of misery so I wouldn't recommend it.

Edit: I actually just re-read your post and realized there were complimenting words in there. Thanks.

 

Better to die on your feet than live on your knees (according to The Phantom)

 

I thought holidays were rough on people who were lonely?

 

A lot of the things that make me happy in life I got from getting angry enough to do something about the things that were making me unhappy.

 

Sometimes it's the best thing you can do to give up on things. Certain People, environments and habits.

Thinking about this past year... it has been another good one with much to give thanks for.

Sure there were some rough spots here and there. Actually went to the hospital once. Vehicles breaking down left and right. And so on. But that's all just normal stuff. Injuries can happen. Vehicles wear out.

Overall, it's all been good. I didn't have to deal with any "bad" people (negative life draining folks who I occasionally must weed out). Have a good girlfriend who shares many of my interests. Each morning I woke up. Being alive is a pretty good thing. Hang out with the family & friends that are good. Have a job that although is quite stressful at times I enjoy it and the folks I work with.

I'm not big on materialistic things though. So that might be a difference. I still drive my old truck that has about 350,000 miles on it. Same car (only 150k on it though). I make a good enough living to cover the necessities and have money to spend on whatever. Generally, I just spend it on other folks or do some projects around the house.

I have no dream to make a ton of money from making games. I do this because it is enjoyable. Been one of my hobbies for a long time. So giving up game dev would be about like giving up hiking, throwing a frisbee or football around and so forth.

At the same time I do have a dream to make a bit of money from the game dev sometime during the next 7 years. It'd be a cool way to get some supplemental income.

Overall... sitting here on the couch with my gal, two dogs (and a Pizza Hut party box on its way) I have to say life is very good!

Hope 2016 is a fantastic year for you @anselmo.fresquez I know you made some positive moves last year. You might not be where you want to be right now but hey you're not dead yet. And like you said, if you keep swinging well you know the story of Babe Ruth I am sure. You swing and swing striking out enough eventually you'll hear the crack of a home run.

 

Yup, sitting here with my family, my son and hubby working on Unity, one daughter watching some Japanese TV show and the other playing DC Universe. We are all happy, healthy, have a roof over our heads, 5 cats and 1 puppy, it is cooling off this weekend so a fire will be in the fireplace....

I can't imagine anything better at this one moment in life. Well, maybe at the party that had to be cancelled because our friends, the hosts, are sick with a nasty bug...but no regrets. Fondue, shrimp cocktails, satay chicken, and some other goodies are waiting for our family party tonight.

Settling is a word to make everyone else whose lives are good, comfortable and sweet feel like they are missing out and is usually used by people who have not yet found peace in their lives.

Keep on using it if makes you somehow feel superior, but honestly, we are not at all envious.

 

Rick Allen had one arm.

Edit: Still has. lol

 

One of my favorite words... along with "judge" and "dismiss". Usually by people who feel self conscious when trying to villainize someone else for "making them feel" that way.

Soap box and high horse are also closely associated.

Scary when someone tears themselves down and you still feel like they're "making you feel" inferior.

 

Because a lot of people like some variety. If you're successful enough then you can get that variety off the top of whatever your major successful venture is, so you don't have to (publicly) move away from it. For the vast majority, though, moving on to something new means dropping something old. Which is cool, because we've got the best out of it and now want to get the best out of something else.

You seem to be stuck looking backwards at the things people move on from, and what you perceive that they lose by doing so (a classic case of Loss Aversion?). But the people doing the moving are almost certainly looking forward, at the new opportunities and experiences available to them by making changes and going forward.

For me, when new opportunities come up I don't look back at what has been. I look forward at what the new opportunity offers and compare it to what my existing opportunities offer. Then I pick whatever gives the most exciting future. The past is already used up. The future is where it's at.

 

Oh, I do not feel inferior, trust me. I actually feel very sad for you and a lot of concern and had no intention of making you a villain at all. I take talk like your seriously having lost several family members and a friend to mental illness as well as dealing my elderly mother's feelings, which are very similar to you. Having raised two kids from foster care with emotional trauma, I wanted to try to make you feel better. But like them, you struck out.

But..that is okay. Whatever makes you feel better is fine by me. I sincerely wish you the best for the new year.

 

That's funny that you say this... I have never thought of myself as someone who will ever succumb to any amount of negativity. I have always known that, no matter what, I will go on. Even when I was really unhappy. I just want to enjoy the journey, and not always feel like I'm dragging myself along by my own bootstraps. Happiness or no happiness, the world keeps on turning. Deep down, I always pictured myself happy and accomplished, standing on top a mountain of defeated foes, woman by my side, sword/gun in the other hand.

Sometimes the weight of everything just gets to me and I get tired.

All I can say is... when life gets you down, sometimes you need a little emotional strength, an inexhaustible arsenal of coping mechanisms, people to talk to, delicious food and drink and no small amount of denial. That last one is my big problem. A lot of people can live their entire lives in heavy duty denial, justifying and rationalizing everything. It works, mind you, very well.

Embracing cold reality, as I do, has its rewards but it is not without risks. You might pull back the curtain of self delusion and find that you aren't quite what you tell yourself you are, which can allow growth and change (as in alcoholics) or it can bring about a devastating blow to your ego.

Also, I have never celebrated New Years. Kind of a bunk holiday in my view, mostly a reason to get absolutely smashed and commiserate with all the other members of the lonely hearts club. Seriously, New Years is a great time to be in a bunker.

Read the Las Vegas news tomorrow, somebody will die tonight. Happens every year.

 

This guy said it way better than I ever could.

There's over 7 billion people on the planet, all with finite life spans, and only 365 unique days in a year for them to end on. People's lives end every day. The specific day on which it happens isn't really relevant. What matters is what they did with it.

 

Well, typically they fall from light poles, get electrocuted climbing displays or get shot by police after discharging firearms at midnight, fatal DUI crashes are also pretty common as well as pedestrian fatalities. And that says nothing about slips, trips and falls and the number of people who will be hospitalized for good ol' alcohol poisoning.

Then there's jumping from the highrises. Normally those get covered up very discretely, though, by hotel security the coroner without anyone notifying the press.

 

Christmas != New Years.

 

Surrender is heathy. It's usually people's egos that lead them on a wild goosechase, chasing after imaginary dreams which, even if you can achieve them, don't really satisfy your spirit/soul. It's a spiritual dilemma.

I too am going through a 'might as well give up' phase at the moment with regards to Unity. Just realizing gradually over time that making games is just not as fun as playing them and if you want to make a decent one it pretty much has to be your job, and then it's work. Some people love it, some don't.

Also success is failure, and failure can be success. Let the crap go, then move on.

 

You have made an interesting equivalency here. I'd challenge you on this. Selling out is not the same thing as giving up. Selling out is often a mark of success. I've created a successful business, now I can sell it on to someone else and do something else with my life.

Heck, even changing tack when you aren't successful isn't the same thing as giving up. I have a moderately successful engineering career. Someday I'll walk away from it to do something different. It's not giving up, it's just moving on with life.

 

Galaxy Quest as far as I can tell.

 

That's not relevant if you actually read the article.

 

I guess part of the problem is that making games will hardly make you a living unless you join a stablished film and you show some talent.... I started coding at 9, loved demoscene and creating 3D engines in C++... At 21 started my first job in Public Sector and from then always in business software. Now, I'm 40+, married, kids, .... and met Unity a year ago giving me the opportunity to build some business/living on my own and it has been a great journey so far (for many personal reasons).
I think I have never lost my passion for creating software products... It's all just about what choices you take.

 

Oh, but I did. And Christmas is that. But New Years is just drunken revelry and the neighbors being loud and obnoxious at midnight. I'm not cleaning up the poppers and confetti out there, that's for sure.

 

To me, in the context of the article it's one extended celebration of the same occasion. There's too many people to celebrate it with properly in just one night. My "Christmas Break" (I call it that despite the facts that it also contains New Year's Eve and that I'm not a Christian) involves a dense series of get-togethers with friends and family where we celebrate each other, the year that has been and the one that is coming, and take the time to catch up with people we might otherwise not see as often as we'd like.

 

That's probably why you see it as one big mish-mash.

 

That, and I'm not in the habit of pigeonholing things into buckets labelled with dates. An occasion can last longer than one day and can involve breaks where you do other things (like binge on video games ) for a bit.

 

Sounds like someone making fun of people who get taken seriously, because he doesn't know how to be.

 

Sure he is somewhat making fun because it is a comedy show.
But he also has an important message in my opinion.
Like you said you have accomplished many goals in your life and therefore I am guessing that you can afford rent and food right? So what are you worrying about?
You sometimes have to stop thinking about how life could have been or which goals you haven't accomplished and just start living your life. Enjoy nature or a good movie and/or book.

 

Or join the good old boys for some real fine times.

Why wait for worry, or fear or some kind of existential threat to present itself before taking action? Why not just take a course of action that seems desirable?

You can always accept what you have in life and be happy with it. I have talked to homeless people who were content. At the same time, I have seen rich people who weren't that happy with their lives, and were just waiting to die, funeral paid for, coffin paid for.

Way I see it, once you stop wanting things, once you lose all desire and adopt an attitude of "what's the point", that's just the earliest sign of rigor mortis.

I guess what I'm saying is, when I just sit there and look at everything all around me and not.hing is happening, I feel like something is missing. I want to be excited. I want to have energy and vision and to experience things, good and bad. I want to live. I want to fight and I want to win.

You really don't have to do anything. You don't have to stop thinking about the life you could have lived. You don't have to do that. You can choose to do that, but that's not the only way and it certainly isn't the "right" way. Yes, it's probably the most popular way and I've done it.

But I can only sit in front of the television so long before I start longing for some adventure of my own.

Personally, I think guys like this ^^^ who mock serious people, are basically just angry narcissists. They wish they had something deep to say, but since they don't, they don't say "well, hey, maybe I should figure out why I have nothing to say"... they reason it out to be "well, if I can't come up with something deep, deep things are stupid and anyone who thinks they're deep is a joke."

It's like being on the dating scene and mocking the spiky haired bro surfer guys who get all the girls as being a bunch of douchebags... you lack those qualities, therefore those qualities are without value. It's pretty elementary.

 

Every day is a tiny rebellion against the inevitable.

 

Stolen

 

Sometimes when you give up and surrender, even if it seems like the end and you'll never go back, sometimes that's actually necessary to go through a kind of `death` so that you can let go of some stuff. Maybe you let go of some fantasy dream that is unrealistic or whatever. But then you rise from the ashes with more certainty and wisdom to move forward in a different way. And then you surprise yourself by finding yourself back on the bandwagon with a new vengeance.

 

Quite True. In the whole post, this was the one line that I completely agreed with.

You talked something about the peak of the mountain in your post. I think you addressed it to as the ambition or the best work in one's life or something like that, right? What's your ambition? What's my ambition? What's everyone's ambition? It is to be the best in this world. It is to be the most superior person in the society. This ambition, this thinking of a human is the peak of the mountain which he wishes to reach. We all are trying hard, then why we give up? Did we worked hard just to give up? No. We worked hard to accomplish something that does not even exists in this world. The tag of 'BEST'. Nobody can ever be the best in this world, you would always be succeeded by someone far better than you, if not in this generation then in the next. We are trying to reach that peak which is impossible to reach and that's the cause for losing expectations, for giving up. What's the solution then? Should we just stop climbing this mountain? Should we just stand still in this war of life? Or should we still climb the mountain regardless of the outcome? That's a question I think nobody in this earth would be able to answer. I would throw my opinion, I believe we should change our way of climbing the mountain, we should strive to be better than what we are today, not the best. When you stop looking at the peak of the mountain and start to look at your feets, it's then you realize that you are trying hard. If you look at the peak of the mountain, then you would only see the path left to cover, not the path you have already covered or are covering and that would discourage you.

So, stop discouraging your inner self and everybody's here and move on to be better. Why would you ever descend when you don't plan to reach the peak and you would never even reach it? When you don't have a goal set, and you dont wish to live a materialistic life?

 

Wasn't this thread locked?