Latest Unity Standalone builds with XRSettings.enabled ONLY d3d11: failed to create buffer

I'm creating textures on a separate device and then sharing them to the Unity device and passing the view made on the Unity device to Texture2D.CreateExternalTexture

everything works in the editor with XRSettings.enabled true or false

but in builds with XRSettings.enabled true after calling Texture2D.CreateExternalTexture, it hangs the graphics only, with output:

d3d11: failed to create buffer (target 0x1 mode 1 size 240) [0x887A0005]
d3d11: failed to create buffer (target 0x2 mode 1 size 12) [0x887A0005]
d3d11: attempt to lock null buffer....

the app still runs but the graphics are frozen
the same app with XRSettings.enabled false before calling Texture2D.CreateExternalTexture works

any ideas for a work around?
tried sharing the texture in reverse gets HRESULT: 2005270523 "The GPU device instance has been suspended."

the point in the texture sharing is so I can run this stuff in a background thread so it's non blocking

 

i use my separate device with ->SetMultithreadProtected(TRUE); on a background thread

and only use the Unity device in the main thread

 

in a coroutine i call an extern function directly and use the Unity device

don't know how to enable the debug layer

i'll try moving the function that gets my shader resource view from the Unity device into one of these things GL.IssuePluginEvent ?

 

standalone build working with GL.IssuePluginEvent !!! weird that the other way works fine in the editor, and in the build with xr off..?

Thank you very much @Tautvydas-Zilys