Is this joke PEGI 18?

Hi all,
I want to ask about a dialogue between 3 people in my game.
Here is the story,
Our hero Tauren is a futuristic commander with his advanced war suit, and his girl partner Sidney provides him some more technological updates and one of them is a highly intelligent Android with trainable artificial intelligence capability (Miki).
In a scene, we saw Sindy fixing Miki and the other day, while Tauren and Miki fighting together the dialog below happens between them.

Android: - Hey boss, do you want to hear something funny? I was with your girlfriend last night and it was funny.
Tauren: - It was your maintenance night wasn't it?
Android: - Yeah yeah (in a reckless tone of voice) she fixed my (after a short break) gadgets.
Tauren: - Obviously she didn't your mouth. Besides she is not my girlfriend.
Android: - Which part of you gets longer when you say lie? Because obviously, it is not your nose
Tauren: - Which part of you should I remove to get your tongue smaller?
Android: - Your girlfriend doesn't like it if my tongue gets smaller, she programmed me to talk you know.
Tauren: - No, she only forgot you in the vibration mode.
Android: - If I were in vibration mode I wouldn't talk.
Tauren: - That is the difference between you and me, I can talk while vibrating.

Here is the question do I get any ban or restriction in Android store and others because of these kinds of dialogues?

 

I'm not sure if I should say what I think, because it's probably R-rated...

Seriously though, I'm no expert on these things, but it would be a sad world to live in if that got banned for being too explicit.

 

That depends on the Android store and what the 'others' actually are, and possibly your location. But if the store offers ratings, why not use them?

https://support.google.com/googleplay/answer/6209544?hl=en-GB

It also varies a lot with location/culture. For where I come from, the above dialog probably falls under 'Teen' as far as being mild innuendo or crudity. But somewhere else it might be considered explicit and/or obscene.

 

Yeah, that dialogue and conversation, sounds very crudishly adult.

 

This wouldn't get a PEGI 18 even if it was coherent. This is the kinda juvenile stuff you'll see in movies targeted at young adults even after 2010.

Your biggest problems are that the jokes are boring and barely coherent english.

 

you could probably stick it into all-ages game, except that kids won't get the joke.

You can google for "adult jokes in kid's show" and there will be a lot of examples....

 

I have doubts that your comments are original and unbiased. Because they smell political and repressed. Also, for a joke to be funny, all the conditions must be met. However, you are only reading what is written here, obviously, you cannot imagine the relevant scene and characters clearly with their voices, emphasizes, background stories and etc.
Besides if you teach someone English at least write English as English not english.

 

My comments are based on the fact that I've had to deal with ratings boards before in multiple contexts, even outside of games. As for your attempt at a "sick dunk" by going "YOU didn't capitalize English," that's incredibly irrelevant. The purpose of language is communication and I had to read that exchange three times to fully get it. You need to hire a native english-speaking writer or a translator because your biggest problem is STILL that this is:

1. a tired joke
2. juvenile at best
3. borderline incoherent

If I saw this exchange, or any exchange written like it in a screenshot or a video for a game, my first thoughts aren't going to be "wow, this is simply too crude for me" but "I am not going to put in the effort to struggle through this writing."

 

I also have some crudish jokes about slow brain functions.
Besides, the jokes were funny if you are in the mood. Obviously, you are not in the mood.

 

I hope your players don't need the same amount of convincing.

 

@mfatihbarut don't worry about salty responses. Some people have different sense of humor.
I had no problem understanding context. And maybe dialog is written in this way for the purpose. But it is clear, it is part of longer story. And to be funny, rest of relevant story should be present. However, that is not the goal of this thread, to be amusing.

I definatelly wouldn't classify this as an adult material.
12+ talks much more dirty jokes.

 

"You just don't get it/aren't in the mood" is the lazy writer's response to criticism. This isn't a good joke and the grammar is far clunkier than it needs to be.

This isn't adult material, it's not even mature material.

 

Jokes like these require context. You need to be in a group of people you know and have the conversation lead into them. I don't believe they can work properly in a video game but they might after you've spent some time with the characters in the game. By themselves they're simply not funny and the more you use the less funny they are.

 

No, they really are not funny. And were not good jokes either, to be completely honest. The fact that nobody here finds them funny (with the closest is people saying that perhaps with context it COULD be funny) and everyone is from different countries and ages, should be a good indication that you should rethink - rather than arguing that it IS funny and that YOU have to be in the right mind etc etc

How many good comedians have to fight to explain why their jokes are funny? Usually at least SOMEONE sees the funny side, but this cross section of audience who is very varied does not. Use that info to your benefit or detriment, its totally up to you.

Also when someone gives you honest feedback, its rude (and a little weird?) to say that they are "political and repressed". Nothing political about a joke being not at all funny and poorly written.

 

Jeez guys hold onto your shirts, the OP wasn't asking if the joke was funny, only if it would be banned.

Unless Google have developed an AI that can detect irredeemable dialogue, I don't think there'll be a problem.

 

You're now trying to defend it, which... might not be the best idea.

Like I said, you could probably stick it into all-ages game, except kids wouldn't get it.

As for it being or not being funny, well it didn't make me even smile.

Which means you could probably just scrap it. It neither entertains nor offends, but the dialogue feels very strained. Not being offensive is a good thing, not being entertaining is not a very good thing, unless you really want filler.

Online lists have good examples of adult jokes hidden in shows made "For kids".

For example, this is zootopia:

Spoiler

Age requirements: 8 years old.

 

Just want to chime in with Murgilod - the english is very, very poor, and you definitely need a native speaker to translate for you if you want to publish that in any professional capacity.

For example: "in a reckless tone of voice." There's no such thing. If you were hoping to put that in the subtitles, it would only confuse people, and if you were hoping to direct voice acting with it it would do the same.

Another is "she fixed my...gadgets." (the ellipsis is generally what is used to denote a pause in conversation [it's also used to denote the skipped portion of a quote, but usually only in professional contexts, and we can ignore that here]). This is very S***ty writing you see a lot--weird pauses that people wouldn't use in regular conversation but are meant to make the words punch. Might as well have a laugh track if you're gonna go this route. A more appropriate way to do the same thing would be to have "gadgets" said coyly.

 

It's not a joke, it's just "locker room talk" with a lot of cheesy innuendos that don't make sense.

The English is broken and hard to understand. This dialogue could be used to induce cringe to make a player probably dislike a group of characters, but otherwise I'd strip it down considerably. Maybe only use one cheesy innuendo and move onto the next scene. Less is more.

 

Agree wholeheartedly. If you're going to ask for feedback, please don't then become rude if you don't like another users response.

Let's make sure this thread stays civilised, eh?

 

Most games have cheesy dialog. Same with games like Mass effect.

 

The responses about JOKE part in this thread become radiculluos. OP asked for feedback on A people continoue talking about Z, like if not reading OP first post. Completely irrelevant, with some assumptions and out of context. Why dragging, if OP wasn't asking for such feedback?

In my view it is pretty much derailing.

 

It's not "completely" irrelevant. He's asking for feedback on his writing, and people are giving him feedback. it may not specifically be the feedback he asked for, but as we've discussed recently in other threads, often newbies don't really understand what they need.

 

Answering the question directly and not making any assumptions is the sort of respect you give someone who clearly knows what they are doing. Sometimes a person is clearly in need of some larger scope perspective. Maybe it offends the ego to have someone make that assumption about you but that's a personal issue. Real smart geniuses take any information available and use it to full advantage.

 

The only actual question is about whether it will be banned for being explicit. It's a bit out of line to go to task on the quality of the joke imo. It's also generally not very constructive to give unsolicited feedback, especially if it's all negative.

I'd like to see everyone on this thread try to rewrite the joke in a way that they think is funny.

 

Asking us if it’s going to be banned is kinda useless though (what else can some say except, “eh, probably not”?), unless we have people that work at a ratings board here.

Which is why people gravitate towards other types of feedback.

 

Operation 'Save A Joke' in progress:

Android: - Hey boss, do you want to hear something funny? I was with your girlfriend last night.
Tauren: - It was your maintenance night wasn't it?
Android: - Yeah yeah! She fixed my ... gadgets.
Tauren: - Obviously she didn't fix your mouth. And she isn't my girlfriend.
Android: - Which part of you gets longer when you tell a lie? Because obviously, it's not your nose.
Tauren: - You need to work on your sense of humor.
Android: - You can always send me back for more maintenance.
Tauren: - Keep it up and I'll pull your tongue out.
Android: - Your girlfriend wouldn't like that, she programmed me to talk you know.
Tauren: - What else did she program into you?
Android: - Well, I've got this vibration mode ...
Tauren: - Maybe I'd prefer that, if you'd at least shut up.
Android: - Hmm, interesting ... she did program my voice circuits to shut down in vibration mode. I wonder why?
Tauren: - That's the difference between you and me, I know when it's time to stop talking.

 

I'd cut it off right there. The joke has delivered and it hasn't overstayed it's welcome.

I think billy did a good job taking it from something that reads as crude boyish humor to meaningful character exposition. Still makes you roll your eyes but in a good way, rather than heavy cringe.

 

This is funnier.

 

I don't know who needs to tell you this but better things are possible.

 

Nobody cared about iPhones either until they came out.

 

Also Dragonfall, and old RPGs in general.

Dialogue and writing is one of the most powerful gamedev tools. How could someone possibly dismiss it is something I probably won't ever quite understand.
----

One more game to check. Grim Fandango.

 

Most gamers probably aren't caring much about milsims (not to mention VR...) either, but that's not stopping you, is it?

 

"Earth Girls are Easy", a PG movie, has a scene where women at a bar are enthralled by Jim Carrey's foot-long tongue and start fighting over who gets to take him home. So tongue jokes are safe. In App Store video games, take a look at the ones where you collect 15-year-old girls in school uniforms. Dialogue like "it's not illegal if we aren't caught" passes muster in those.

As far as funniness, I'm not the first to bring this up, many people like cheesy banter and sex talk. Romance novels, or fantasy/romance, sell well with stuff like that. Outlander's sex talk is just cringy. Some of Shakespeare even has that level of quick filthy sex puns mixed with silliness. As for awkward language, 99 Shades of Grey took the cake and sold well enough. My only advice would be not to forget the gay market.

 

Mass effect has a lot of great dialogue, but I gotta agree the relationship stuff was very clunky. Theres no concept of the 'minefield', if an option is explicit (even better if it comes from absolutely nowhere) it's definitely on the critical path. And then other parts were like some kind of sappy teenage romance.

 

Only when are not to long.
Recently i just click-skip them and jump into action.

 

Yeah, and offcourse dialouge is important. Look to old Lucas arts game like Sam n Max for example.

 

Depends on the genre.

Well written text can kick my brain into high gear and start the imagination, which will make the world feel alive. You'll probably need at least 6 digit budget to do a cutscene that would have the same effect, and even then it will be most likely inferior.

That's why I would recommend to never overlook the writing. The writing can make the game feel real. If you skip the writing, achieving the same effect will cost much more.

Basically if you manage to engage user's brain, then the brain can beat whatever cinematic you throw at people. That's why people read books, by the way. Because the brain is available for free, not utilizing it is a waste.

 

Which tells me that it's either not necessary for the main experience, or it's not engaging to the target audience.

If story and characters are core to the experience and most of your audience still wants to skip them then either the design or the writing isn't up to scratch, and should be fixed. It's entirely possible that the fix is realising that your audience doesn't want it, and updating your design as is relevant.

Consider that there are games where the story and dialog are the entire point. If they were skipped then there would be little or no game left. And even in games where there are other things going on good writing can still be it's own strength. For instance, there are quest lines in The Witcher 3 where you mostly go around talking to people, and they still manage to be tense, engaging and interesting. In Deus Ex talking to people is directly a game mechanic, which makes sense since you're essentially an investigator, and investigation involves people.

But note that I'm talking about stuff "core to the experience". Big games often include different content for different people. Those who like dialog and/or reading have it there, but things are designed so that people who aren't interested can ignore it without missing anything important. An important question with small games is, how much can you afford to do things like that?

 

It is worth keeping in mind that text can be part of other genres.

Spoiler

https://xkcd.com/873/

Rimworld, Dwarf Fortress and few other games use text to produce/enhance illusion of the living world and complexity.
Dwarf Fortress uses them to generate combat log, artifact descriptions, and monster anatomy for specific creaturs.

 

The first time I played Final Fantasy 13 I really liked the item descriptions. That's still writing, even if it's not the main focus.

 

I loved this stuff when I ran D&D campaigns.

Weapon descriptions, especially when a weapon is magical, has runes inscribed into it and some party members happen to be able to read the language. The joys of people suddenly discovering that the cool crossbow they found is a actually a diablolic weapon with an unpleasant type of an ancient vow inscribed on the side.

 

Oh those sweet eighties, when the young me tried to translate a faded copy of bootleg AD&D rulebook with one small English-Hungarian dictionary to find out what is what...

 

Sometimes I think it wouldn't be bad to have this kind of position somewhere even part time doing the stuff like this - setting up encounters, item descriptions, npc descriptions, dialogues, etc.

It was time consuming. But it was fun. And I'd be probably at least decent at it. Although to be honest I had a problem of inventing too many parallel storylines.

 

Well, we are seriously going off-topic here, but I guess we will be slapped by the moderators if needed, so Geronimo...

I still play various pen & paper RPGs with my friends. My serious problem is the 9 hours time-zone difference. They are in CET, I'm in Pacific Time. So we can play when I can get up around 7am-8am on Sunday(s). Which is torture... I mean you know, get up, make coffee, clear your head and get in the mood to play some RPG with friends. Without alcohol (early in the morning...).
But we play once in a while, although I rarely take the role of DM nowadays, my friends are published writers and stuff, they can write better stories than me.