TL;DR - Personal intro, and a few important questions. I... I don't really know how to explain this. I love games. I have loved gaming since I was two years old and my dad stuck me in front of an old CRT television and handed me a NES controller. I've been hooked. The world of video gaming has expanded and evolved so much over the last three decades and I've been watching it intently the entire time. I've lost track of the number of times I've had what I thought was a stellar idea, only to see it come out in a game three or four years later. "D'oh!" eventually turned into "That could have been me." which eventually turned into "That could be me!" So, here I am. Near 30 years old, my second kid coming from my second marriage, unemployed, but with this hopeful feeling in my sternum - like maybe, just maybe, there's a chance here. I want to make games. A little background: I'm 30 (as I said), married, former military, with just under thirty years of user-to-intermediate computer experience under my belt. I spent three year attending ITT Technical Institute for a Multimedia and a half-finished Digital Entertainment and Game Design AA/BA (and, before any of you bring it up, I'm painfully aware that ITT Tech was a gross waste of my military education benefits). I enjoy every type of gaming I know of, including tactile gaming (card, board, pen-and-paper, dice, etc). I developed an interest (but not proficiency) in object-oriented programming, and developed a moderate proficiency with 3D modeling (poison of choice: 3DS Max, but I'm totally leaning toward the freeware awesome that is Blender as soon as I can force myself to learn a new software suite). Most of my skills are rudimentary and self-learned - college taught me only what I learned at home from YouTube. I tried to pick up and work with a copy of RPG Maker VX Ace a few years back and I never seemed to allocate the time to really dig into it. And then a new edition came out. It's too limited to do what I think I want to do, anyway. And I really want to make games. Probably more than anything else. I have this huge problem getting my ducks in a row. Any ducks. No, let's go with cats, because getting my priorities straight here is not unlike herding a bunch of neurotic cats. I have this tendency to really throw myself into something I'm passionate about, which the effect of burning myself out when I fail to prioritize or just get too damn weary after a few days/weeks of burning the candle at both ends. I get bored easily with something that doesn't challenge me. I've written up - full or in partial, or just in my head - these epic concepts for just about every game you could imagine. I get so disheartened about half-way through, though. I think, How could any of this actually become reality? I'm lazy at times. I get tired, I struggle with depression and the crappy sleeping habits that come from it. I'm a night owl. It's a mess. I'm so damn intimidated by the gaming industry. It's big, it's esoteric, it's the high tower of wizardry. I'm, well, pretty envious of the people on the other side of those ivory walls. For all the time I've spent researching game design theory, I've never talked to one single solitary individual that actually does it for a living - indie or otherwise. I've finally gotten to the point where I'm damn-near desperate. I want to be a game designer so badly that I'm positively bleeding pixels. PIXELS, Carl. I'm not an artist - or if I am, I have no experience with art. I do inorganic design, I do templates, I do ships and mechs, but I do not grasp aesthetics or organic design. I could probably never do illustration. Perhaps concept art at best - rudimentary scribbles. I am a competent writer when I'm not setting fire to my own work. I think and dream in systems (such as when I put together an elaborate anti-griefing law system for a sandbox MMO I was concepting in college - and it'd have worked, too). Okay, I think I've typed enough. Question! For those of you who identify even a little bit with any of this slog, where should I at least start? I have the general idea that I can't really go wrong with Unity (regardless of what type of game I might want to pursue down the line), and that a good, solid, game-capable programming language like C# is a good one to pick up. But where do I start? Do I go on Lynda.com and get some tutorials? Should I start small, or should I simply learn some things before I start? What does starting even look like? Any bit of direction or advice, or especially encouragement, would be wildly helpful. I just want to start walking down the right path here. Hell, I just want to start taking steps. Good steps. Towards some kind of goal.